Player Profiles - # 51 - Randy Ketchum

Name: Randy Ketchum
Position: Defensemen - or any stance that would somehow position his aging scrotum directly in front of an incoming shot!
Number: 51
Why?: Similar game to Brian Campbell – no; the number of days passed the expiration date of the condom in his wallet – maybe; a number that was available and he was ok with it since it adds to 6, his number growing up – most likely.

Nickname: Slim Shady (do to use of an M&Ms bag), Old Balls; and Nordic Track (for his skating stride). How we know him: Harken back to Avalanche glory days, Denver had just stolen the 'Dique from Quebec and the Camp boys bought a fan plan to watch the new team win Lord Stanley in it's first season. Sitting in the same section were a couple of hockey fanatics who were always sporting the coolest jerseys. Turns out these "Nutty brothers" would become mainstays on Steamer- although it took quite the prodding to coax them out of retirement.
Scouts said: "Never, and I mean NEVER, flashy, but always consistent. Always clears the puck, throws his body in front of all kinds of shots and passes, and gets physical (with men) when he needs to.  Will lay-out to block shots like few beer-leaguers you have ever seen.  He really keeps it simple and that is usually the best play." 
 Game reminds you of: Jay McKee – D – retired; the late Karlis Skrastins – D- Lokomotiv.

Best line on the ice: "Oh, ok, f#ck you!"
You may not have known:  Played on a State championship hockey team in high school.  Once donated his “Cheerleaders” hat to a young man looking for some valuable lessons about life.

Thanks for: Constantly saving the asses of our many forwards as they change lines while the other team is breaking out. Thanks for pre and post-game beers and being one of the nicest and funniest bastards ever to don a Steamer sweater.

Player Profiles - # 19 - Shane M.

Name: Shane Patrick McArdle

Position: Reach around (?), occasionally Winger, some defense?
Number: 19
Why?  Number of beers he drank while watching the Patriots prior to a 2:45 game.

Nickname: The Professor (due to illicit affairs with Igor Larionov, not his Havahd education); Mr. Jones; Dirty Hippie; Tom Brady’s Priest.

How we know him? Totally unrelated to the Parole Officers and Prosecutors on the team.  No, really.  Met the Pod when he subbed for a floor hockey game, saw a Bruins bag, and could never say no to the Steamer again.

Scouts Say: “This kid skates like the wind, but could somebody teach him to stop before he goes Christopher Reeves on himself?” “The kid’s got heart and wheels and a thirst that makes David Hasselhoff look like an occasional drinker.” “Wow, he sure showed that goal post who’s the boss!” “Is there a force field around his skates that keeps him from going into his own zone?” “His ability to turn a ref against his entire team in a matter of seconds is nothing short of genius!”  "Tremendous speed and no apparent fear of the end boards.  Plays with hustle and scores goals in bunches with a nice mix of wheels and sniper."

Game reminds you of: Mike Cammaleri, LW, Anthem Booers; Martin St. Louis, RW, Tampa Bay Lightning (and former UVM Catamount).  

Best line on the ice: “It is true, I committed an infraction!”  Or - Pod: "Do you want to go get beers and watch the Bruins (playoff) game?"  SPM: "No, I'll be locked in the panic room!"

You may not have known:  No truth to the rumor that he is the forbidden love-child of former Bruin, Jay "Killer" Miller.  He actually did go to Harvard for Grad school.  Played on the Holy Cross ice in High School.  Thinks Mike Greenwell should be awarded the 1988 American League MVP.
Thanks for:  
Randomly joining a team where you didn't really know anyone and fitting right in; always being a solid guy willing to get beers and join Steamer traditions (charity tourney, Fu Manchu anyone?); 'out-kicking your coverage' with a super cool wife who mentioned Steamer in her vows; and of course - being a Chowderhead who lives and dies with the Bruins!

Player Profiles - # 47 – Jason Ketchum

Name:  Jason Ketchum

Position:  Center
Number:  47
Why?:  an extra number we had.
Nickname: Harlan Pepper- the nut guy on Best in Show and one of the Nutty brothers.
How we know him:  Harken back to Avalanche glory days, Denver had just stolen the 'Dique from Quebec and the Camp boys bought a fan plan to watch the new team win Lord Stanley in it's first season.  Sitting in the same section were a couple of hockey fanatics who were always sporting the coolest jerseys.  Turns out these "Nutty brothers" would become mainstays on Steamer- although it took quite the prodding to coax them out of retirement.   
One scout said:  “Tenacious on the puck and extremely dangerous when playing mad.  What's this guy doing on THAT team?” “A great player that dominates games sort of quietly. He is fast but not blazing, not a dominating shot - but really good, great hands, hockey sense and anticipation (good for one slot pass from the other team per game).”
Game reminds you of:  Henrik Zetterberg, C/LW - Detroit.  Powerful skater, unbelievable hands, and no push over.  Make him mad and he'll drop 4 on ya’.
Best line on the ice:  “Hey ref, maybe you oughta try calling this game without your head up your ass.”
You may not have known: growing up in Colorado, he played on an all-star team with goalie John Graham. Played juniors in Montana-ish after High School.
Thanks for: finally coming out and joining the Steam. Always being up for some post-game hockey talk and beers. And lastly, caring so much – you probably take losing way too hard, but a lot of us do not mind that at all.

Player Profile - # 71 - Anthony Fontana

Name: Anthony Vincent Fontana
Position: Wheel Barrow, on the bottom - or Defenseman
Number: 71
Why?: correlates to the number of lesson plans he finished in one night at Milo's!
Nickname: Bada Bing (obvious reference to Strip club in The Sopranos); shallow throat; chowder beard; Kirk Maltby's cellmate.
How we know him: He answered a personal ad for young defenseman not afraid of male nudity, occasional binge drinking, possessing a monster shot from the point and an abnormal gag reflex. Or he was a teacher with Shane "Professor" McCardle.
Scouts said: "If he could dial in that 90 MPH howitzer from the point, there'd be a lot less dead teammates and lot more broken goalie nuts. His slap shot is sort of like a drunken teenager swinging an aluminum bat at a pinata." "Most frightening slap shot the Steam has ever had, though a bit erratic with his accuracy. Skates very well with good closing speed on D and a great backskating poke check, where he can effectively poke check without stopping his feet or getting caught flat-footed. Solid vision on the ice, and is capable of shutting down an opposing team's top player."
Game reminds you of: a more-limp-wristed Brad Stuart. Or maybe Joe Corvo or Duncan Keith (a bomb from the point, slick skating and a little mean streak).Best line on the ice: "Sorry I had to tea bag ya Chub."
Thanks for: being a constant good sport as the whipping boy (it was inevitable being the youngest and from Detroit). Your willingness to get together and drink beers, watch hockey, and be stupid on a moments' notice. While the forwards will be safer when you leave, your hockey ability and being a great guy will be sorely missed!

Player Profile - # 25 -Craig H.

Name: Craig H.
Position: Wing / Defense
#: 25
Why?: No idea, but 25 is a "grinder" number and that is fitting.
Nickname: The Cancer, Money Counter, Maytag Repairman, Natural Goal Scorer, and The Howitzer.
How we know him: Went through Hockey 101 with most of the other plumbers on this team.
One Scout Said: A blue-collar type who loves being a role player. You have to love his edge. Whether it be in front of either net, or in the corners - in the immortal words of the late Reg Dunlop - he is going to "let him know you're there!"
Game reminds you of: Christopher Schubert, W / D - Ottawa Senators.
Best line on the ice: "Yeah, I'll see you in the hall, or the parking lot" - to one of those guys that thinks he is better off fighting a member of Steamer off of skates?!?! This is a derivative of his other off-ice standby - "Don't worry Joe, he's too pretty to fight!"
You may not have known: He played D-2 college basketball at UNC. He also dunked in a High School game against Montbello to the shock of the Warrior fans! Has been known to run through downtown Denver catching buses, is hell on appliances, and always puts a quality effort into his CD making.
Thanks for: Joining the Steamer team when you had other suitors. We have also enjoyed your participation in post-game "strategy sessions", golf tournaments, and of course the annual hosting of "beef jerky night!"

Player Profile - # 13 - Joe White

Name: Joe White

Position: Left Wing

#: 13

Why?: Joe’s lucky number, and an appreciation for Bill Guerin

Nickname: Tripod, Wicked Whitey, The Pylon, Lumbering Left Wing

How we know him: He is the veritable trunk of the Steamer family tree.

One Scout Said: Tremendous shot. He masks one of the best wrist shots in the league behind a self-described “lumbering” skating style. He is very effective by moving to open space and setting up for one-timers that frequently find the back of the net. Also is an underrated penalty killer because of his strong clears out of the zone and good positioning. Baywatch-like on breakaways.

Game reminds you of: Glen Murray, RW, Boston; Brett Hull, RW, retired.

Best line on the ice: "You need to be this tall to ride the tilt-a-whirl” to one of the 5’6” ‘enforcers’ that seem to frequent the C-4 division.

You may not have known: Second place on the all-time Steamer goal scoring list. Spent his early years in the suburbs south of Boston and was subsequently treated for an apparent speech impediment upon his arrival to Colorado. Now manages an office of Denver parole officers – a potential conflict of interest with the current Steamer roster. Has a soft spot for quiche and haunting ballads by Sarah McLachlan.

Thanks for: Being the braintrust, the backbone, and sometimes financier of Steamer Hockey. The self-deprecating sense of humor (the nicknames above would seem a little cruel if not coined by Joe himself). Organizing everything and trying to keep the experience fun for everyone. Always being up for a beer after games and sharing a limitless vault of useless hockey knowledge.

- PFD

Semi-player profile - CQ

As we recently worked on getting the new Steamer jerseys, Shane asked if he could switch to # 19. That number was formerly worn by our buddy CQ, a very gritty, quality 2-way center, who is still 6th on the all-time goal scoring list (see Stats) - with Shane approaching quickly.

Shane said - "So the guy was good huh?" I explained that you would equate him to Rod Brind'Amour - and if you know who he is and how he plays that would answer the question. Plus I asked - "Have you ever seen CQ's hit on Youtube?"

Player Profile - # 5 - Eric Skarda

Name: Eric Skarda

Position: Center
#: 5
Why?: I think it is a tribute to a friend of his that went into the marine corps.
Nickname: E5, The Jedi.
How we know him: He is Bizz's nephew.
One scout said: Excellent skater, very fast, especially laterally. Very hard, under-rated shot and streaky scorer with multi-goal ability. Good two-way center and strong on face-offs.
Game reminds you of: Pavel Datsyuk - C - Detroit Red Wings; Andy McDonald - C - Anaheim Ducks.
Best line on the ice: "God dammit Joe!" - several times, most famously after Joe hit the post on a one-timer off the face-off play.
You may not have known: Eric played college baseball briefly at Creighton and Regis. He also drew the white jersey logo and all of the golf tournament t-shirt designs.
Thanks for: Always being willing to play hockey any time, any place. Carrying the team offensively for several seasons. All the artwork. And the willingness to talk puck, drink post-hockey beers and give that occasional ride home.

Player Profile - # 44 - Mike McGwan

Name: Mike McGawn
Position: Wing / C / Defense
#: 44
Why: That's what we gave him. I think he asked for #69 but I was 34 years old and could not allow that.
Nickname: Toe socks; giant yellow gloves; white helmet; Mikey.
How we know him: Went to Law School at CU with Adam.
One scout said: "The one-man penalty kill." He is a good skating, excellent defensive forward. Plays smart positionally and will chip in the occasional goal.
Game reminds you of: P.J Axelsson - LW - Boston Bruins.
Best line on the ice: "I suck c&ck!" - after missing a wide-open net.
You may not have known: Mike is another one of those looney tri-athlete people.
Thanks for: Playing defense during the playoffs, always paying your fees early, and coming out for beers at least once per season despite having a baby at home.

Player Profile - # 7 - Frank Ingham

Name: Frank Ingham
Position: Wing / Defense
#: 7
Why: His alarming man-crush on John Elway.
Nickname: Shot Pimp; Bim; 42% Wood; Stink; Big Pimp; Frank the Tank; Ball Washer.
How we know him: Went to Drake University with our buddy Glen.
One scout said: His game is all about hustle. If he is playing with energy he is one of the best players on the ice. Very good, fast skater who is a versatile player able to play any position.
Game reminds you of: Dan Hinote - RW - St. Louis Blues.
Best line on the ice: "Takes one to know one." - to a player that called him a fag after words were exchanged with our bench.
You may not have known: Frank can beat anyone chugging a beer, or in a fight, if he gets them on the ground. Holds the STEAMER record for most time spent drying his junk after a game! Actually, Frank was an all-State swimmer at Regis. Although he was an hour late to the Awards Ceremony, he runs the CU Tailgate and the STEAMER Golf Tournament which are both smashing successes!
Thanks for: Being one of the originals who has helped hold the team together, always wanting to practice and get better, and being a great motivator in the lockerroom.

Player Profile - # 11 - Brian Frost

Name: Brian Frost
Position: Right Wing
#: 11
Why: The number he has worn in every sport we have played with him / he's had it since he was a kid.
Nickname: Big Bizzness; Bizz; Pokey; Get Dizzzy with Big Bizzzy.
How we know him: Played in a band with Joe Q. and Axe, a friend Joe W.
One scout said: Excellent passer with good vision on the ice. Underrated shot with a knack for hitting posts.
Game reminds you of: Jozef Stumpel - C - Florida Panthers.
Best line on the ice: "It looks like old and fat is coming out strong tonight!" After he and Joe W. scored the first two goals in a game.
You may not have known: In his softball playing days he set a league record for 42 strides to make it the 60-feet to first base (picture Fred Flinstone running his car) and was nicknamed "Hydroelectric Lips" by Bud White that same season for constantly talking on the field. Has recorded three CDs: solo, with the Strugglers, and with Local Six.
Thanks for: Being a trooper and hanging for beers after the game and talking hockey X's and O's to help improve the team.

Player Profile - # 4 - Reegan Moen

Name: Reegan Moen
Position: Defense
#: 4
Why? I don't know. That was the number another player had requested who ended up not playing with us (the Sleestack) so it was left over - but he never asked to switch numbers.
Nickname: The Big Norwegian; Naked Guy; The Mesmerizer.
How we know him: He went through Hockey 101 with several players on the team.
One scout said: Extremely physical defenseman who punishes players who come to the front of the net, and blocks a ton of shots. Absolute rock-solid D-Man who is a very good skater with a booming slap shot.
Game reminds you of: Sami Salo - D - Vancouver Canucks.
Best line on the ice: "I must break you" - in his best Ivan Drago voice.
You may not have known: Reegan played linebacker at a Division-3 college in Minnesota. He also got hurt the first season (sprained ankle, torn cartilage, and broken fibula) and was back in 8 weeks - which was quite impressive.
Thanks for: Joining Steamer and sticking with us. Despite playing on another team at the time he joined our team and has stayed on board despite our struggles.

Player Profile - # 81 - Bill Samudio

Name: Bill Samudio

Position: Defense

#: 81

Why?: I think because it was a derivative of 9, the number he wanted that Adam had, or his son Joey might wear that number.

Nickname: ??? Smooty-O (oh wait, that's from work). The guy Frank pushed over in the locker room???

How we know him: Works with Joe W.

One Scout Said: Another very willing player who will play anywhere he is asked. Good versatility and can play a physical game in front of the net. Plays sound positionally and is a good outlet passer.

Game reminds you of: Ken Klee - D - Atlanta.

Best line on the ice: "I heard you guys yell 'center' so I jumped on the ice." After taking a too many men on the ice penalty. We were yelling for the guy on the ice to center the puck and Bill thought we meant line change.

You may not have known: Bill was an all-conference running back in High School and tried to make CSU's football team as a walk-on.

Thanks for: Your willingness to play wherever we ask you to and setting up so many of the practices.

Player Profile - # 23 - Joe Quinn

Name: Joe Quinn
Position: Defense / Wing
#: 23
Why?: He reminds you of Milan Hejduk and Michael Jordan. Seriously, I have no idea why. Maybe to irritate Craig.
Nickname: The Anomaly; Toast; Mighty; Dances with the blue line; Sgt. Schultz.
How we know him: Met Joe W. in 8th grade at Confirmation classes through another friend. Played in a band with Chub and Bizz
One Scout Said: He's a C-level player! Sometimes he is very smart, other times his teammates have no idea what he is doing. Actually, a very willing player who will play anywhere he is asked. Good versatility and an occasional mean streak. Will battle in front of the net - at both ends - and can score some "blue collar" goals.
Game reminds you of: Gretzky, Keith Gretzky. Ian Laperriere (?) - RW - Colorado Avalanche.
Best line on the ice: "I don't think I was offsides."
You may not have known: While in High School Joe "dated" the daughter of Broncos Coach Dan Reeves. Some speculate that their trysts were the inspiration for the Bronco's 2-minute red zone offense in the late 80's - Hey! But really, Joe is an accomplished guitar player and can beat Joe White in 9 out of 10 sports!
Thanks for: Being our whipping boy and not getting mad when I yell at you; nicknaming me "The Tripod" (not really); coming out and getting beers with us; and your unselfish willingness to play a different spot on the ice every week.

Player Profile - # 16 - Pete Dunlaevy

Name: Pete Dunlavey
Position: Right Wing
#: 16
Why?: The day of his wife's B-Day, his B-Day, and their anniversary; and of course - American hockey legend - Pat Lafontaine.
Nickname: Chowder; Chewbaca; Fletch; Trey Cool; Prarie Dog Man; David Beckham.
How we know him: His wife, Carolyn, used to work with another player's "ex."
One Scout Said: Blazing speed and hustle. Terrible to play against but great to have on your team. Never takes a shift off and is the personification of Ray Ferraro's theory (see other post). Excellent defensive forward.
Game reminds you of: Ales Hemsky - RW - Edmonton Oilers.
Best line on the ice: "You should go play in low-D where you could score some goals!" - to one of those Division-3 college hockey players who is playing in our league for some unknown reason.
You may not have known: Pete is from Western Massachusetts and was on the State Champion cross-country ski team in High School. He ran track and cross-country at Muhlenberg College and has run a mile in 4:29.
Thanks for: Defending the chowderheads; beating the snot out of that punk - the best fight and victory in STEAMER history; being willing to play or watch hockey at any time; and being a fellow hockey-addict for Adam and I - so our significant others don't think it's just us!

Player Profile - # 30 - Brian Eloe

Name: Brian Eloe
Position: Goaltender
#: 30
Why?: Tribute to Marty Brodeur.
Nickname: Chub; Chub Rock.
Why?: A reference to his first bachelor party and the ensuing stimulus reaction.
How we know him: His first job as a youngster was working for Bizz (Big Brian). Then moved into "Camp Corona" with Joe and Bizz.
One Scout said: Very competitive and fiery in net. While not a big keeper, he plays the angles very well and almost always makes the first save. Excellent glove hand.
Game reminds you of: Jocelyn Thibault - G - Buffalo Sabres.
Best line on the ice: "I'll see you in the parking lot asshole!"
You may not have known: Chub is the lead singer in his band and has been recorded on two CDs. Developed almost all of the graphics for the Altitude Network that you see during AVS games.
Thanks for: Agreeing to play goal when we were in a bind. Selflessly took over the toughest and most important position.

Player Profile - # 9 - Adam Devoe

Name: Adam Devoe
Position: Defense
#: 9
Why? The number he has always worn in sports.
Nickname: The Voe; DeVomez; Queen LaSleepa; K-PAX.
How we know him: Adam went to law school with our friend Rick at CU. Rick went to college with Frank and another friend of the group, Glen. We then met Adam through Frank and Rick.
One scout said: Extremely versatile, can play any position. While he does not have any particular skill set in which he is excellent, he is very good at all of them. Good skater, who has a very underrated wrist shot, and is an excellent defensive centerman.
Game reminds you of: Kevin Bieksa - D - Vancouver Canucks.
Best line on the ice: "Hey Shitbag, it's 9-2!" To an opposing defenseman taking slapshots with 2 minutes left while we got pounded.
You may not have known: Made the State tournament in golf in High School. Originally from Indiana and went to the Air Force Academy for a while. Has his private pilots license. Recently won his age group in a Fort Collins triathalon.
Thanks for: Being the one who got us started. He set up beginning skating and Hockey 101 and was the catalyst that began STEAMER.