For.The.Win.

Matt with the finishing touches on defending the "Lord Steamer Trophy!"

2012 Golf Tournament

So, the 9th annual golf tournament for the 10 year anniversary of Steamer hockey!

 Stunning to hear, there was drinking!

 The Ladies Tees rules?

 Prison love?

 Round of shots!



Loose club?

 The current and former members or Steamer!

 SEXY TIME!

Smartness!

 The original grinder line!

Craig's loose balls!

The Champs with the infamous "Lord Steamer Cup!"

2012 Golf Tournament Line-up:

The Teams: 

1	“All But Retired”
A	He was there in September of 2002 doing his Chevy Chase before the first game – “This is crazy, this is crazy, this is crazy….”  He single-handedly brought the body-fat percentage on the Steamer down to 31%.  He is named after a Montreal Canadien, but we still love him - the most decorated golfer in tourney history as the 2007, 2008, and 2009 champ - # 22 and # 91 – Jacque “The Carpenter” Cocagne.
B	He somehow met Shane at some hippy concert and then became the keeper for over a year as Chub was out during his splenectomy (Chub said it was a penile reduction).   He may have hit the best shot in tourney history – a 250 yard 3-iron to within 6 feet – as part of the defending champion 2010 team - # 34 Matt “Boris the Blade” Lee.
C	A special returnee and Steamer legend for his You Tube worthy hit: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rAgVUvbq9M  He centered the original grinder line (with 25 and 13) and was one of the leading goal scorers when he retired – and is still in 9th place.   His team record of “one more half-beer before I leave the bar” is 15, and considered as untouchable as Wayne Gretzky’s 92-goal season.  The original # 19 – Chris “CQ” Quarton.
D	This guy was once voted the league fattest player and puts the lummox in “out of his element team captain.”  Luckily for him, ugly goals count in your career totals!  Sadly, he also incorporates the “lumbering left-wing” strategy into his golf game.  Despite that he is a member of the 2008 and 2010 championship golf teams - # 13 – Joe “The Tripod” White.
2	“Original Members’
A	This original founder and co-captain is renowned for his ability to turn one shot into several, and I am not talking about Golf.  Never met a ref he didn’t need to classify based on their perceived intelligence.  He has a fondness for old wooden clubs, and La Jolla – 2008 champ - # 9 Adam “K-Pax” Devoe!  - Scratch that - he pussed out!
B	Another Steamer original and multiple tournament organizer, who handled the sweet polo shirts a few years ago.  He is not afraid to drink out of the cup and raise the nudity level in any locker room – 2006 champ – # 34 Freddie “Thunder” Ingham.
C	This guy puts the pork rind in the phrase “3rd line grinder.”  He has more nicknames than a hip-hop mogul and he may ride his bike home after the tourney.  He is also the founder of the legendary “Beef jerky and Fu Manchu Sunday!”  Presenting ‘the’ # 25 – Craig “Natural Goal Scorer / The Howitzer / The Maytag Repair Man” Harrer.
D	Another first-generation member of the Steam, and multi-tournament organizer.  Luckily for him, ugly girls count in your career totals (hold on, what?).  If he hasn’t offended someone in your family, they have not met him yet!  Referred to as “the ball-washer” – not for golf reasons, but rather his post-shower toweling regimen – a 2005 champion – # 7 Frank “The artist formerly known as the shot-pimp” Ingham!
3	“Friends of E5”
A	She seems like a nice girl, I have no idea how she is affiliated with this event.  Quiet in the post-game, loud off the tees – 2005 Champ – Anna “Don’t call me Francois” Giguere.
B	His name sounds Irish, and Frank will try to confirm that lineage after the tournament.  ‘They’ imply that he is just here for the beer – Conor “Which way to the red tees?” Ryan.
C	She had relations with the young Jedi and still married him.  Then she had his child.  She is nothing if not a trooper – Taya “Magic Hands” Skarda.
D	A former Division II All-American,  soccer player, who is begrudgingly associated with this event.  She is mostly known for crude gestures during the team photo at the Pepsi Center and being asked by Frank “Where were you when I was single? – Kristen “why do 40-year olds keep hitting on me?” Geyer.
4	“Team Idiot -- re-vamped”
A	The newest Steamer member playing golf.  Even though he is a Red Wings fan – we still love him.  While his high-school defense partner ended up in the NHL, he took the more glorious road to ‘Steamer ringer’ - # 67 – Matt “Lidstrom is my real Dad” Jeffrey!
B	Another full-term Steamer (?) – he has participated in every charity hockey and golf tournament.  He has been the artist on several jerseys and all the golf t-shirts.  Taken under the wing of the shot-pimp and Obi One-piece Composite, he lived through it - and somehow flourished as a hockey player.  A 2005 champion and the future (is now) captain of the Steamer - # 5 - Eric “the young Jedi” Skarda.
C	Another original member – started out as # 37 on the blue line.  After two seasons, and an immense number of penalty minutes, his mental health evaluation required him to move to goalie.  He has been there ever since.  If they gave out trophies for peeing in the cup or driving a cart in the lake, he’d need a new mantle - # 30 – Brian “Chub Rock” Eloe.
D	Former co-captain of the Steam and Bruise Brothers combined “JV” team at DU.  She has taken more physical abuse (see the video on the blog) on the course than John Daley’s caddy.  She somehow grasps the stupidity and is always a gamer – # 15 – Laura “Bubbles” Eloe.

The 2010 battle for the Lord Steamer Cup!

 Another rousing success, the 2010 tourney...

 Mike, Big Fred, Little Fred, and Reegan.

 Matt (?), Darryl, Eric, and Jimmy.

 The 3-iron from 250 yards that won the tourney - by a Goalie?

 Craig, Stewart, Adam and Frank.

 Worn down by a lot of swings and a lot of swigs.

Getting close to sleepy time!

Sgt. Schultz, dreaming of The Howitzer, misses the putt!

The winners (Joe, Joe, Jake and Matt), with a -9, held off the other three groups who added impressive scores of -8, -7, and -1!  Nice effort boys!

And the post-golf drinking got scary!

Q: What is right around the corner?

A: The Steamer Hockey Golf Classic - get ready to try some unusual shots. 

The 2009 Steamer Golf Tournament

Only rivaled by the legendary "Fu Manch and beef jerky Sunday" - the Steamer golf tournament was a tremendous success again this year. While it was the smallest contingent in the 7-year history of the event, there were some raucous good times at Overland Golf Course.
While there were no event shirts this year, the small number of players gave us some new options - the expanded format and some special individual awards.

New format - as there were only two groups and the team of The Carpenter, The Mesmerizer, and The Howitzer had a commanding -6 to -3 lead going into the last hole, we played the par 5, # 18 together. The hole was played with a 7-player scramble format with the following caveat:

Drive - everyone was required to do a "Happy Gilmore" drive. Way harder than you think!

Second - everyone had to hit Eric's fairway 2-wood.

Approach (drives were not good) - from about 90 yards with Eric's "adjustable club."

Putt - again with Eric's adjustable club.

The Howitzer made the birdie on the 7th putt. Nice! A -7 to -4 win for half of the defending Overland champs of RM and JC and CH gets his name on The Lord Steamer Cup!

And now for the Awards:

The Sam Malone Award - for excellence in bar tending - to Bada Bing. At the turn we stopped for Jager shots. And they may have been the largest Jagers in history (about 3 fingers high in cocktail glasses). In a move described as "all class" Bada ordered Pabst Blue Ribbon as the chaser. Jager and PBR - smooth!

The Magnum PI Award - who really didn't think The Carpenter wouldn't wear a Hawaiian shirt?
The Al Macinnis Award - for force in every shot - to the SoCo Jedi. You will probably never see anyone swing a club harder and I think his dozen lost balls and locked-up back is proof positive!
The Swingers Award - and I am not talking about a golf swing. Think of the classic movie. K-PAX really got some vibe from the bartender. And like the movie I think she wanted to go back to the trailer for some "partying." Hey-oh! Cue up Heart's "Barracuda!"

The Eric Johnson award - yes, the former # 1 pick / Blues' young D-Man - to The Tripod. Yes, the golf-cart-related injury award. After missing his golf ball on a quick drive-by, the cart driver (Verbal / Kaiser) whipped the steering wheel to the left. A big lummox went flying out of the cart - unfortunately landing first on the golf ball in his right front pocket. I hear his leg still hurts!
The BDSM Award - to the Mesmerizer. As we approached the 18th he had a few beers in his system and meant to ask the other team if they were conceding the match. Instead he asked if we "would consent to losing." The statement was quite chilling and silence overtook the group!

The Porn Star Award - to the Howitzer. Not only would he yell while shots were being fired, he also put about a 100-yard pitching wedge off the roof of Bada and E5's cart. Way to drop your shot on some heads.

So, that's it. Thanks to everyone that participated. We will try to organize earlier next year!

...and the golf winners....

Proudly bringing the thunder on the course was these 5 stars of the game. With a reliever coming in half-way through, this stallion-fest posted a - 5 score to win the Lord Steamer Cup.
From left to right: Jacque, Joe, Adam, Glen, and Butch get their names on the most famous trophy you have never even seen! Boo-yeah!

The annual Steamer Golf Tournament...

...is this Saturday, September 13th. Teams will battle for the infamous Lord Steamer Cup - and these sights are inevitable:

Fun with golf carts!

...and speaking of the Mickelson reaction....here are some people who shall remain nameless until the statute of limitations tolls on golf cart damage.

6th Annual Steamer Golf Classic / Marc York Memorial Golf Tournament

Reminder that this year's 6th annual Steamer Golf Classic is combined with the Marc York Memorial Golf Tournament. It will be Saturday September 13th at 1 PM at the Broadlands. The picture is from last year's tournament and that is Marc in the white shirt (with JQ and Fred on the right).

Come on out and try to get your name on the Lord Steamer Trophy (below)! Your chances are better since the the defending champs below will not be in attendance to defend!

Please RSVP via The Evite!

Steamer post-golf fun and games........

...the Harry Caray impressions - "Hey Adam, I'm a Chinaman!"
For some more great Harry Caray impressions click here.

2007 Lord Steamer Golf Tournament

This year's tournament was a rousing success. Many thanks to Frank for organizing the event and Fred and Anne for the quality shirts.











Group # 1 - Team Bi-Curious: L-R: Old Beer, Root Beer, Sgt. Schultz, and Shaq Diesel.

Group # 2 - Team Over-rated: Ditka, K-Pax, Tripod, and Hoss.

Group # 3 - Team Caucasian Frenzy: JC, Bizz, Toe Socks, and The Mesmerizer.

Group # 4 - Team Mega-Moron: The Jedi, The Howitzer, Back Country, and The Falcon!

Group # 5 - Team Peckerwood: Darryl, Sakic, Shot Pimp, and Darryl.

Group # 6 - The Old College Try: Mrs. Skarda, The Gay Scottsman, Anna Giggy, and another young person.

The winners of the Lord Steamer Cup

The Blonde / Gray Bombshells (Assenmacher Spice, Toe Socks, The Mesmerizer, and The Carpenter) with an impressive 5 under. Nice work boys!

Golf Tournament - Shirts

Here is the artwork for this year's shirts. The annual Lord Steamer Golf Tournament will be Saturday 09/08/07.

See ya' there!

Golf Tournament - Runners Up?

Yes, this special Dream Team - despite being told to play from the blue tees - finished an impressive Top 4. From Left to right: Jason "19th Hole" Ketchum; Craig "Shot Maker" Harrer; Joe "Pin Seeker" White; and Joe "Ball Striker" Quinn - put up an impressive + 2!

STEAMER Golf Classic

Some of the participants in the 2005 tournament.

But who walked away with the cup?

Winners of the Lord STEAMER Cup?

This sober quartet of Chub, Bubbles, Eric and Craig?


1st in drinking, but last in golf!
These crazy cats?

No!

Bizz, Adam, Joe and Justin?

No!




Fred Ingham and his team of Stewart Ingham, Sarah Johnson-Ingham, and Tom Fattor - brought home the Lord STEAMER Cup in 2005!

Past tournament winners?

Bizz, Joe and Jacque?

Rick, Matt, Adam, and Lee?

No, the tournament has never been played in Hawaii!

This year's golf tournament t-shirts

Will be $12 each. They will be navy blue with white lettering. The artwork back (above) and front (below) by E5.

The Steamer Golf Tournament

The 4th Annual Steamer Golf Tournament will be played August 19th, 2006.

Tee times start at 10:30 a.m. and will be followed by a Birthday party for Frank at his house.

Neither the golf nor the party will be held at the beautiful Arrowhead Golf Club pictured above (and yes, I took that picture from the clubhouse).

Contact the artist formerly known as "The Shot Pimp" - Frank Ingham for details.