NHL Predictions 11-12

So, two years ago I picked the Bruins over the Flyers and Blackhawks over Ducks, with the Hawks and the Bruins over Chicago.  It was Hawks over the classy-fanned Flyers.  Not bad.

Last year I went Wings over Canucks, Lightning over Bruins and Lightning over Wings.   The gloriousness was the Bruins winning!   Ahhhh - basically I am a budding genious or an idiot-savant.

For awards last year:
Hart – Crosby (Ovechkin, Stamkos) - won by Corey Perry
Vezina – Luongo (Rask, Bryzgalov) - won by Tim Thomas
Norris – Doughty (Weber, Green) - won by Nick Lidstrom
Selke - whoops forgot that one - won by Ryan Kesler
Calder – Parjvi (Hall, Carlson – Wash) - won by Jeff Skinner
Adams – Boucher - Tampa (Laviolette - Philly, Q-stache) - won by Dan Bylsma
Rocket – Ovechkin (Stamkos,  Kessel) - won by Corey Perry     

I'll give myself another B - for a grade. 

For awards this year:

Hart – Toews - Chicago (Giroux, Crosby)

Vezina – Rinne - Nashville (Lundquist, Bryzgalov)
Norris – Weber -Nashville (Keith, Edler)
Selke- Kesler - Vancouver (Datsyuk, P. Bergeron)
Calder – Landeskog - AVS (Brett Connolly - Tampa, Adam Larrsson -NJ)
Adams – Trotz - Nashville (Murray - LA, Laviolette - Philly)
Rocket – C. Giroux (Stamkos, Nash)      

Playoffs:
1-Flyers over 8-Rangers
2-Caps over 7-Canes
6-Sabres over 3-Bruins
4-Pens over 5-Lightning

Flyers over Sabres
Pens over Caps

Pens over Flyers

1)      Canucks over  8) Avalanche
2)      Sharks over  7) Ducks
3)      Blackhawks over 6) Predators
4)      Kings over  5) Red Wings

4)      Kings over 1) Canucks
3)      Blackhwaks over 2) Sharks

Blackhawks over Kings

Finals: The Q’stache is back - Blackhawks over Pens (Conn Smythe – Corey Crawford)

My NHL predictions from last year

I'll give myself a B- (for the playoff picks, not the awards).

Trophies:
Hart (MVP) – Alexander Ovechkin (Wash) 2nd - H. Sedin
Norris (D-Man) – Shea Weber (NASH) 7th -D. Keith
Vezina (Goalie) – Henrik Lundquist (NYR) 6th - R. Miller
Selke - (defensive forward) – Mike Richards (Philly) 7th - P. Datsyuk
Calder (Rookie) – John Tavares (NYI) (5th) - Tyler Myers
Adams (Coach) – Joel Quinneville (Chi) 8th - Dave Tippett
Rocket Richard (Goals) – Ovechkin (Wash) 3rd – S. Crosby / S. Stamkos


Playoffs:
EAST:
3. Bruins vs. 4 Flyers – a re-match of the Winter Classic – everyone is undervaluing the Bruins and they stun the Flyers in 6.
WEST:
1. Blackhawks vs. 6. Ducks – the Ducks age gets the best of them. Hawks in 6.

FINALS:
An original 6 match-up and great TV – Blackhawks vs. Bruins – get ready for another parade chowderheads – Bruins in 6.

Predictions for the 2010-2011 NHL Season

Sorry for the delay - you can go to Vegas now!
West
1. Vancouver Canucks
2. San Jose Sharks
3. Chicago Blackhawks
4. Detroit Red Wings
5. Anahiem Ducks
6. Los Angeles Kings
7. Phoenix Coyotes
8. St. Louis Blues
9. Nashville Predators
10. Colorado Avalanche
11. Calgary Flames
12. Edmonton Oilers
13. Columbus Blue Jackets
14. Dallas Stars
15. Minnesota Wild

Playoffs:
Vancouver over St. Louis
Phoenix over San Jose
Los Angeles over Chicago
Detroit over Anaheim


Detroit over Phoenix
Vancouver over Los Angeles


Detroit over Vancouver

East
1. Washington Capitals
2. Boston Bruins
3. Philadelphia Flyers
4. Pittsburgh Penguins
5. New Jersey Devils
6. Tampa Bay Lightning
7. Buffalo Sabres
8. Montreal Canadiens
9. Ottawa Senators
10. New York Rangers
11. Carolina Panthers
12. Atlanta Thrashers
13. Toronto Maple Leafs
14. Florida Panthers
15. New York Islanders

Playoffs:


Capitals over Canadiens
Bruins over Sabres
Lightning over Flyers
Pens over Devils


Bruins over Pens
Lightning over Caps


Lightning over Bruins

Finals: Lightning over Red Wings – oh, the irony!


Awards:
Hart – Crosby (Ovechkin, Stamkos)
Vezina – Luongo (Rask, Bryzgalov)
Norris – Doughty (Weber, Green)
Calder – Parjvi (Hall, Carlson – Wash)
Adams – Boucher - Tampa (Laviolette - Philly, Q-stache)
Rocket – Ovechkin (Stamkos, Kessel)

Speaking of opening night, we are a week into the NHL season. Here are my timely NHL predictions. Wagering is encouraged.

East
1. Penguins – The 2-headed monster up the middle. A great young keeper and Kunitz and Guerin should have huge seasons.
2. Capitals – lost some Russians, but still loaded with scoring talent. Questions remain in net.
3. Bruins – Not likely as many guys will have career years, but they are tremendously deep and have 3 legit scoring lines to go with the Norris and Vezina winners.

4. Flyers – Revamped defense, two great lines, and a big gamble in net.
5. Canes – very underrated team with a great goaltender and 3 quality lines.
6. Rangers – their defense looks really thin, and they are iffy at Center, but a great goalie sneaks them into the playoffs.
7. Devils – Jacque Lemaire back behind the bench? Can you say snooze-fest? Great goalie and defensive system means boring hockey and in the playoffs.
8. Senators – Lost the streaky Vermette and Heatley and added LeClaire, Kovalev, Cheechoo, and Michalek. That looks like an improvement to me.

9. Canadiens – out of the playoffs? Huh? Too many roster changes, they look to slip.
10. Florida - missed the playoffs on a tie-breaker last year. Close but no Lewinski.
Tampa Bay – a re-vamped defense and two good lines. Should be a playoff bubble team.
11. Toronto - re-vamped defense, but little scoring. Not this year.
12. Buffalo – sort of a blah team. Too many guys with un-guaranteed productivity.
13. Atlanta – still an iffy team that seems to lack managerial direction.
14. Toronto – revamped defense but iffy scoring. Not this year.
15. Islanders – Re-building and heading in the right direction, even with 3 # 1 keepers.

West
1. Chicago – The future is now as they have major cap problems starting next summer. Great coach (yes, AVS fans) and a lot of young talent, is their keeper good enough?
2. San Jose – Very good keeper and Top 6 forwards. Will be good during the regular season, but afterwards?
3. Vancouver – Maybe the best keeper in the world and a solid defense. Is there enough scoring, and what about that long Olympic road trip?
4. Detroit – lost a bunch of good complimentary parts, but still have hardware winning talent on the roster. Have to worry about a bunch of guys adding games at the Olympics.
5. Calgary – revamped defense, and solid goal-tending. Enough scoring? We’ll see.
6. Anaheim – thinned out defense, but have solid forwards and two # 1 goaltenders.
7. St. Louis – loaded with young talent, and likely learned a lot after being swept in the first round last year. Can Mason do it again?
8. Dallas – sneak into the playoffs as they get a full year of health from Richards and Morrow.

9. Columbus – the western conference version of the Devils. Can the other Mason play that well again? Don’t think they get there this time.
10. Edmonton – too small and do not seem to care.
11. Los Angeles – loaded with young talent, but still a year away.
12. Minnesota – change in coach and GM, so they should be less boring. Great goaltender, but who is going to score?
13. Nashville – preposterous defensive corps, but little offense on a true “small market” salary cap team.
14. Colorado – let the re-building begin. Lots of bad contracts ending and a lottery pick give hope for next year.
15. Phoenix – what a disaster, these Winnipeg Jets. With ownership being decided in court the roster, and the vibe, suffer.

Trophies:
Hart (MVP) – Alexander Ovechkin (WASH) makes it 3 in a row (Crosby, Getzlaf).
Norris (D-Man) – Shea Weber (NASH) gets his first of many (Pronger, Boyle)?
Vezina (Goalie) – Henrik Lundquist (NYR) a shaky defense in front of him gets him the hardware (Luongo, Fleury).
Selke - (defensive forward) – Mike Richards (Philly) finally gets his due (Datsyuk, Madden).
Calder (Rookie) – John Tavares (NYI) – he is the face of the franchise and sells tickets, he will see a ton of ice time (Filatov, Varlamov).
Adams (Coach) – Joel Quinneville (CHI) winning the Conference gets you votes (Bylsma, Stevens).
Rocket Richard (Goals) – Ovechkin – may break Espo’s record for 550 shots on goal in a season, that equates to at least 50+ goals (Kovalchuk, Nash).

Playoffs:
EAST:
1. Pens vs. 8. Sens – too much of the two–headed Monster for the Sens. Pens in 5.
2. Caps vs. 7. Devils – tough series for the Caps. Caps in 7.
3. Bruins vs. 6. Rangers – too much depth on the Bruins. B’s in 5.
4. Flyers vs. 5. Canes – unless Ward goes crazy, Flyers advance. Flyers in 6.

1. Pens vs. 4 Flyers – Flyers get physical and take the series, plus the Pens hired Tony Granato. – Flyers in 6.
2. Caps vs. 3 Bruins – Caps are worn down, B’s advance. Bruins in 7.

3. Bruins vs. 4 Flyers – a re-match of the Winter Classic – everyone is undervaluing the Bruins and they stun the Flyers in 6.

WEST:
1. Blackhawks vs. 8. Stars – Dallas sneaks in for a short ride. Hawks in 5.
2. San Jose vs. 7. St. Louis – a healthy Blues team is scary. What? Not again! The Blues in 6.
3. Vancouver vs. 6. Anaheim – the Ducks are tough in the playoffs and the Canucks disappear again. Ducks in 6.
4. Detroit vs. 5 Calgary – another early Calgary exit? They beat the crap out of the Wings but lose in 7.


1. Blackhawks vs. 7. Blues – Great match-up of young talent, but the Hawks win in 6.
5. Wings vs. 6. Ducks – not a great match-up for the tired Wings. Ducks avenge last year’s game 7 loss as they win in 6.

1. Blackhawks vs. 6. Ducks – the Ducks age gets the best of them. Hawks in 6.

FINALS:
An original 6 match-up and great TV – Blackhawks vs. Bruins – get ready for another parade chowderheads – Bruins in 6.

NHL predictions - last year

OK - here were my picks last season. Let's review before I dazzle you with this year's prognostications.

Eastern Conference:
# 1 Anthem Boo-ers vs. # 8 Carolina - Speed wins this one and the desecration of the American anthem can continue.
# 2 Penguins vs. # 7 Rangers - the blue shirts get snipped like Craig's vas deferens.
# 3 Capitals vs. # 6 Bruins - homer pick, sure! But the B's rise to the occasion like morning wood!
# 4 Flyers vs. # 5 Senators - the Sen's window has closed quicker than Bill's free time on the weekend.
Second Round:
# 4 Flyers vs. # 2 Penguins - the battle of PA - they better re-open the jail at Veteran's stadium. The Pens get healthy and advance.
# 6 B's vs. # 1 Anthem Boo-ers - the call for diving gets taken out of the rule book before the series, and the 100 year celebration continues.
Finals:
# 2 Penguins vs. the #1 Anthem- Booers - sacre bleu? Huh? The dream ends as the Pens are healthy and somewhat rested and move to the finals again.
Western Conference:
# 1 City Burners vs. # 8 AVS - Tony Granato and Ken Holland are the difference - as the AVS get pounded like Anthony's fist during the lunch break.
# 2 Sharks vs. # 7 Oil - the boys from Edmonton disappear faster than Reegan's clothes in the room.
# 3 - Flames vs. # 6 Pay-per viewers - inexperience is a more confusing than Eric's burger order at Milo's and the windy city is gone early. Go Cubbies!
# 4 Ducks vs. # 5 Stars - Giggy has done it, Turco is more nervous than a Monday morning substitute missing a "Lesson Plan."
Second Round:
# 4 Ducks vs. # 1 City-Burners - the Michelin Man gets pelted with Swedish Meatballs.
# 3 Flames vs. # 2 Sharks - should be quite a series, but Mike Keenan needs a bigger boat as he gets more confused than the Tripod on an easy line change.
Finals:
# 2 Sharks vs. # 1 City Burners - Jumbo Joe takes the next step and the trendy pick moves on....

Stanley Cup Finals:
A cup for Jumbo Joe, Mini Joe Pavelski, and Jeremy Roenick is a beautiful thing!

How it actually went - West:

First Round (5 right, 3 wrong - 1 series correct)

#8 Ducks over # 1 Sharks

# 2 Wings over # 7 Blue Jackets

# 3 Canucks over # # 6 Blues

# 4 Blackhawks over # 5 Flames

Second Round (2 right, 2 wrong - 1 series correct)

# 4 Chicago over # 3 Vancouver

# 2 Detroit over # 8 Anaheim

Conf Finals: (1 right, 1 wrong)

# 2 Detroit over #4 Chicago

How it actually went - East:

First Round (7 right, 1 wrong)

# 1 Bruins over # 8 Canadiens in an absolute punishment

# 2 Capitals over # 7 Rangers

# 6 Canes over # 3 Devils

# 4 Penguins over # 5 Flyers

Second Round (2 right, 2 wrong)

# 4 Penguins over # 2 Capitals

# 6 Canes over # 1 Bruins

Conf Finals: (1 right, 1 wrong - correct winner)

Lord Stanley: (1 right, 1 wrong)

Pens over Wings

Total 19 on and 11 off - with some decent tie-breakers. Let's go with a B?!?!

NHL predictions 07/08 - The Playoffs

I know, finally! I've had these done forever and just not posted them. So the question is does Detroit repeat?

Eastern Conference:

# 1 Anthem Boo-ers vs. # 8 Carolina - Speed wins this one and the desecration of the American anthem can continue.

# 2 Penguins vs. # 7 Rangers - the blue shirts get snipped like Craig's vas deferens.

# 3 Capitals vs. # 6 Bruins - homer pick, sure! But the B's rise to the occasion like morning wood!

# 4 Flyers vs. # 5 Senators - the Sen's window has closed quicker than Bill's free time on the weekend.

Second Round:

# 4 Flyers vs. # 2 Penguins - the battle of PA - they better re-open the jail at Veteran's stadium. The Pens get healthy and advance.

# 6 B's vs. # 1 Anthem Boo-ers - the call for diving gets taken out of the rule book before the series, and the 100 year celebration continues.

Finals:

# 2 Penguins vs. the #1 Anthem- Booers - sacre bleu? Huh? The dream ends as the Pens are healthy and somewhat rested and move to the finals again.

Western Conference:

# 1 City Burners vs. # 8 AVS - Tony Granato and Ken Holland are the difference - as the AVS get pounded like Anthony's fist during the lunch break.

# 2 Sharks vs. # 7 Oil - the boys from Edmonton disappear faster than Reegan's clothes in the room.

# 3 - Flames vs. # 6 Pay-per viewers - inexperience is a more confusing than Eric's burger order at Milo's and the windy city is gone early. Go Cubbies!

# 4 Ducks vs. # 5 Stars - Giggy has done it, Turco is more nervous than a Monday morning substitute missing a "Lesson Plan."

Second Round:

# 4 Ducks vs. # 1 City-Burners - the Michelin Man gets pelted with Swedish Meatballs.

# 3 Flames vs. # 2 Sharks - should be quite a series, but Mike Keenan needs a bigger boat as he gets more confused than the Tripod on an easy line change.

Finals:

# 2 Sharks vs. # 1 City Burners - Jumbo Joe takes the next step and the trendy pick moves on....

Stanley Cup Finals:

A cup for Jumbo Joe, Mini Joe Pavelski, and Jeremy Roenick is a beautiful thing!

Northwest Division (predicted order of finish):1) Calgary Flames

Buzz: They got tougher in the offseason and have legitimate Norris (Phaneuf), Vezina (Kipprusoff), and Hart (Iginla) candidates . That has to help your chances - even with Mike Keenan.

Significant Roster move(s): lost Huselius, Nolan and Tanguay. Added Bertuzzi, Bourque, and Cammalleri.

Outlook: all the elements appear to be there, but like a golf cart driven by Chub and E5 the road will come to an abrupt end.

2) Edmonton Oilers

Buzz: Huh? So much speed and young talent they remind you of a strip bar in the rust belt.

Significant Roster moves: lost Pitkanen, Stoll and Torres. Added Brule, Cole and Visnovsky.
Outlook: This team can still play more scared than that guy on the ice looking up at "the Ditka teabag" - but I am gambling on a playoff spot.

3) Colorado Avalanche

Buzz: Huh? Picked by many for 14th in the Division, we say # 8 seed. They have 3 lines that can score, the defense is decent, and Budaj will be fine if the D plays OK.

Significant roster moves: Rid themselves of Joe Ted, messed up by losing Brunette, and lost Sauer and Finger. Added a crap-festival from Toronto.

Outlook: they will likely score like Daniel in a casino bathroom stall – fast and furious but no hope for long term payoff.

4) Minnesota Wild
Buzz: Defending Division champs, but Jacque Lemaire's style is a snoozer. The team from the alleged "State of Hockey" should have some signing-Gaborik and scoring-goals issues.
Significant Roster moves: Lost Demitra, Nolan, Rolston. Added Brunette, Bergeron, and Zidlicky.
Outlook?: kind of like watching Bill and Joe skate, it drags on and does not excite you. Here's hoping they miss the playoffs.

5) Vancouver Canucks

Buzz: Sure they have the best goalie, but who is going to score goals?

Significant roster moves: lost Naslund and Morrison. Added Bernier, Demitra, and Wellwood.

Outlook: Their offseason roster moves look more confused than Anthony when he "accidentally" stumbles upon one of those "curious" websites!

Pacific Division (predicted order of finish):

1) San Jose Sharks
Buzz: They are the "hot choice" for the cup almost every year. New coach, the D-Man they needed and a lot of young talent.

Significant Roster move(s): lost Campbell, Carle, Ozozlinsh, Rivet, and of course - fantasy legend - Patrick Rissmiller. Added Blake, Boyle and Lukowich.
Outlook: This team has shown more unfulfilled potential than Eric when he was single. But like the engaged youngster, next Spring could be special!

2) Dallas Stars
Buzz: Sean Avery, woo-hoo. I hate this team.
Significant Roster moves: lost spare parts and added Brunnstrom and Avery.

Outlook: Not that old, but the seem to have more gray than Bizz's beard. They'll make the playoffs but with the Ribiero soccer-dives and the Turco choke-cherry-turnover - they'll be on the golf course soon enough.

3) Anaheim Ducks

Buzz: They still have a great defense and the Michelin man in goal, but can they score enough goals?

Significant roster moves: Lost Schneider, Weight, Bertuzzi and Bergeron. Added Brendan Morrison.

Outlook: This team has more distractions than the guy sitting next to Allie in the locker room, but they should make the post season.

4) The Phoenix Coyotes

Buzz: They have the great Gretzky! Actually another team with a bright future.

Significant Roster moves: Lost Ballard, Boynton, and Vrbata - added Olli Jokinen and some grit.

Outlook?: Their playoff chances are similar to the odds of Shane sobering up and getting married. Maybe in the future, but not this year!

5) Los Angeles Kings

Buzz: Next year's draft is a deep one! But really, they have good young talent and will have the best defensive corps in the league in 5 years.
Significant roster moves: lost Blake, Cammaleri, and Visnovsky - added Greene and Stoll.
Outlook: There is a better chance of the Big Bear scorekeepers getting a whole game right than the Kings making the post-season (9 shots?).

NHL predictions 07-08 - Central

Central Division (predicted order of finish):
1) Detroit's Hated Red Wings

Buzz: The defending champs went ahead and added Ty Conklin and Marian Hossa from Pittsburgh. Ouch!

Significant Roster move(s): see above.

Outlook: Kind of like a CU tailgate, it will go well for a long time, but I see someone ending up with a bloody lip.

2) Chicago Blackhawks

Buzz: New ownership, to includes televised games, two great young players, and two nice free-agent additions. Playoffs anyone?

Significant Roster moves: lost Lang, kept the Bulin wall, and then aded Brian Campbell and Cristobal Huet.
Outlook: Sort of like picking up girls and then hot-tubbing with Frank and Glen - it will probably be rewarding at first, but the night may come to a quick, and disappointing, end.

3) St. Louis Blues

Buzz: Nowhere to go but up, I suppose. Their franchise D-Man of the future was injured playing in a gold tournament. I can't imagine how that could happen?

Significant roster moves: None, waiting for the prospects to develop.

Outlook: kind of like Mike’s locker room stall - toe socks, white helmet, yellow gloves, wooden stick - you look at the whole production and still scratch your head.

4) Nashville Predators

Buzz: They have a great coach, but shaky ownership and diminishing funds means that talent is leaving.

Significant roster moves: lost Zilicky and Radulov.

Outlook: They have actually overachieved more than Pete and Joe did in marriage, but like Pete’s ability to be fun, and Joe’s waist-line, things are on the downward spiral.

5) Columbus Blue Jackets

Buzz: They have to make the playoffs eventually - don't they?

Significant roster moves: They were able to rob the AVS of a 1st round pick, but I digress. Added a bunch of guys you have barley heard of and dumped some soft Euros - Don Cherry would be proud.
Outlook: There is a better chance of meeting Adam for beers in the summer than them making the playoffs.

Northeast Division (predicted order of finish):1) Montreal's Kissing Canadiens
Buzz: They are celebrating their 100th year - whoopy-dee-frickin'-doo. Funny how championships don't come as frequently when you can't horde all the provincial talent in a 6-team league, huh?

They do have a lot of young speed and talent though. The power-play can't remain that high, can they?

Significant Roster move(s): lost Streit, Ryder and Smolinski, added Laraque and Tanguay (get ready for some drop passes)!
Outlook: Kind of like Chippendales' game each week - you expect it to go well, but you never know.

2) Ottawa Senators
Buzz: In the cup finals two years ago, started last season great than "defecated the bed." They have rid themselves of most of the prima donnas though, so look for a good year. Maybe the best 1st line in hockey, is that enough?

Significant Roster moves: lost Redden, Emery, Stillman, and Commodore - added Ruutu Jason Smith and Auld. Some addition by subtraction?

Outlook: Kind of like Anthony's game with the ladies - it is one line and a lot of hope. They have some game though, so they'll be in the post-season.

3) Boston Bruins
Buzz: Made the playoffs last year and took the # 1 seeded Habs to 7 games. They look to be on the rise.

Significant roster moves: really few, added Ryder and Wheeler.
Outlook: they are like the Tripod going over the boards: it's slow, scary, and full of its share of tumbles, but they will eventually get there!

4) Buffalo Sabres
Buzz: After years of being cheap and letting talent get away (Briere, Drury, and Campbell) they look good on paper. But do they have the health and toughness to make it to the playoffs out of this division?

Significant roster moves: Lost Bernier and Kalinin, added Rivet and signed miller to a long-term deal.

Outlook: They are like Sgt. Schultz claiming he is a C-level player and that he could win 9 out of 10 sports - it sounds good, but would you bet a paycheck on it?

5) Toronto Maple Leafs

Buzz: I assume Cliff Fletcher has a buzz after some of those off-season moves.

Significant roster moves: Significant? I guess losing Mats Sundin.

Outlook: this roster looks worse than Harlan Pepper's collection of hockey hats - don't bother putting the golf clubs in storage.

NHL predictions 07/08

Atlantic Division (predicted order of finish):

1) Pittsburgh Penguins

Buzz: Crosby, Malkin, and a bunch of other good players. They went to the Stanley Cup finals last season and are a year wiser.

Significant Roster move(s): lost Hossa and Malone, added Satan (the Czech winger, not the actual personification of Lucifer) and Fedetenko.

Outlook: Tantalizing and fun to watch, they have more eye-catching young talent than The Professor's 5th hour class. Hey!

2) Philadelphia Flyers

Buzz: Had a good season, a bad one, and then good again. They have the skill to go a long way.

Significant Roster moves: several that make you go hmmmm.

Outlook: Sure, they will make the playoffs, but really, they are more unstable than Chub after 4 Jager shots.

3) New York Rangers

Buzz: They brought in some real streaky talent and parted ways with a lot of steady, productive players.

Significant roster moves: see above.

Outlook: their playoff prospects are like Frank in Vegas at my bachelor party - they will drop a ton of coin and will not be there long.

4) New Jersey Devils

Buzz: Brodeur will break Roy's career record for victories this year while playing some boring hockey.

Significant roster moves: They brought Rolston and Holik back but they are older than several guys on the STEAMER.

Outlook: This is the year they finally miss the playoffs. Their window has shrunk more than your junk in your cup.

5) New York Islanders

Buzz: The owner is named Wang and his team is similar to Caddyshack 2.

Significant roster moves: They lost 3 of their 5 forwards who could occasionally score, so, of course, they added a defenseman.

Outlook: good luck, there is a better chance of finding a sober Ketchum brother at an AVS game then the Isles playing in mid-April.

NHL predictions 07/08

Southeast Conference (predicted order of finish):

1) Washington Capitals
Buzz: loaded with talent and they have #8 Alex Ovechkin. The won the Division last year.
Significant Roster move(s): lost Huet and Kolzig, then added former AVS goalie Jose ThreeOrFour.
Outlook: This should be Reegan's favorite team as they are "mesmerizing." Them making the playoffs is as certain as Anthony missing the net with a slap shot.

2) Carolina Hurricanes
Buzz: Just won the Cup three years ago and have good talent.
Significant Roster moves: added Pitkanen, lost Cole.
Outlook: They will sneak into the playoffs, but they are like a slap shot from Howitzer - looks real good at the beginning and then you are underwhelmed.

3) Tampa Bay Lightning
Buzz: WTF? Who are these guys? They revamped their roster in the off-season like few teams in NHL history.
Significant roster moves: see NHL.com.
Outlook: they have so many changes their team has more mismatched parts than Kris Kringle's hockey bag.

4) Florida Panthers
Buzz: they followed up one of the worst trades in NHL history (Luongo to Vancouver) with another that may backfire as well.
Significant roster moves: Jokinen out, Ballard and Boynton in.
Outlook: Not good - their roster moves look more confused than JQ trying to figure out which wing he is playing.

5) Atlanta Thrashers
Buzz: They prove that if you have pictures of the owner and a donkey, you can keep your job as GM.
Significant roster moves: They still haven't replaced Marc Savard with a center for Kovalchuk's line - apparently looking for the first pick in the 2009 draft.
Outlook: looks like the draft lottery. They have less coverage than an Ingham after a shower.