Atlantic Division (predicted order of finish):
1) Pittsburgh Penguins
Buzz: Crosby, Malkin, and a bunch of other good players. They went to the Stanley Cup finals last season and are a year wiser.
Significant Roster move(s): lost Hossa and Malone, added Satan (the Czech winger, not the actual personification of Lucifer) and Fedetenko.
Outlook: Tantalizing and fun to watch, they have more eye-catching young talent than The Professor's 5th hour class. Hey!
2) Philadelphia Flyers
Buzz: Had a good season, a bad one, and then good again. They have the skill to go a long way.
Significant Roster moves: several that make you go hmmmm.
Outlook: Sure, they will make the playoffs, but really, they are more unstable than Chub after 4 Jager shots.
3) New York Rangers
Buzz: They brought in some real streaky talent and parted ways with a lot of steady, productive players.
Significant roster moves: see above.
Outlook: their playoff prospects are like Frank in Vegas at my bachelor party - they will drop a ton of coin and will not be there long.
4) New Jersey Devils
Buzz: Brodeur will break Roy's career record for victories this year while playing some boring hockey.
Significant roster moves: They brought Rolston and Holik back but they are older than several guys on the STEAMER.
Outlook: This is the year they finally miss the playoffs. Their window has shrunk more than your junk in your cup.
5) New York Islanders
Buzz: The owner is named Wang and his team is similar to Caddyshack 2.
Significant roster moves: They lost 3 of their 5 forwards who could occasionally score, so, of course, they added a defenseman.
Outlook: good luck, there is a better chance of finding a sober Ketchum brother at an AVS game then the Isles playing in mid-April.
2 comments:
I like your thoughts here except it's the 5th shot of Jager that sends me into the unstable "whirling vomit of death" mode. So know your knowledge.
I always lose count after two Jager shots!
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