Editorial # 8 - Do you know me?

I'm the Celine Dion-loving jack-ass who ruined the Colorado Avalanche!

Sure, I won two Stanley Cups, but when I came on board I was handed the keys to a Ferrari which I turned into a Delorean.

I remained as arrogant as ever even though I never had the "sack" to admit my mistakes - and boy are there plenty of them.

Sure the Chris Drury / Stephane Yelle trade followed by the Derk Morris /Keith Ballrd trade are the stuff of legends among village idiots, but I knew I could top them.

I let Peter Forsberg and Adam Foote get away due to my complete inability to see that a salary cap was coming. I then tried to replace them with old has-beens like Pierre Turgeon, Patrice Breeze-By, and Brad May - all of whom are close to the average age of the STEAMER team.

Then during the season, I became more of an idiot and brought in another Montreal has-been, Joe Ted. Not only are he and his family criminals who use performance enhancing drugs, he has an excellent $5.5 million annual salary that I wanted to use an an additional albatross around our neck.

To top that catastrophe off, I bought out the options on the last year of Rob Blake and Joe Sakic's contracts. Being the fat-headed pea-brain that I am, I did not check to see if that move would kick in those bonuses I stupidly signed them to in 2001. Well, they did kick-in and now the AVS are paying both of those guys 2.3 million this season towards our salary cap.

Those moronic transactions made it impossible to re-sign Rob Blake and forced the trade of the tin-man, Alex Tanguay. When I saw this ship sinking I took the cowardly way out and handed the wheel to another frenchie, Francois Giguerre.

Since I can not do math, someone told me that I have 23% of our salary cap tied up in Joe Sakic's bonus, the bonus of current Los Angeles King Rob Blake, and that Paris Hilton-dating turd named Joe Ted. Good luck Giggy, you are going to need it.

Have you guessed it? I am that package-sniffing, c*ck-gobbler, Pierre Lacroix!