Just wanted to wish everyone Happy Holidays. Whether you are naughty or nice - we hope you get what you asked for.... Enjoy all the events you celebrate and be safe!
The site of a very average hockey team with a special ability to drink!
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Get better Chub Rock!
As you know, the Chub is on the shelf with a spleen ailment. I added his actual MRI picture to help illustrate! 
Chub - May the fortunes of Peter Forsberg and Matt Hunwick be with you! Eric is here to help, we can't wait to get you back, and we love ya' man! Get better soon!
Player Profiles - # 47 – Jason Ketchum
Position: Center
Number: 47
Why?: an extra number we had.
Nickname: Harlan Pepper- the nut guy on Best in Show and one of the Nutty brothers.
How we know him: Harken back to Avalanche glory days, Denver had just stolen the 'Dique from Quebec and the Camp boys bought a fan plan to watch the new team win Lord Stanley in it's first season. Sitting in the same section were a couple of hockey fanatics who were always sporting the coolest jerseys. Turns out these "Nutty brothers" would become mainstays on Steamer- although it took quite the prodding to coax them out of retirement.
One scout said: “Tenacious on the puck and extremely dangerous when playing mad. What's this guy doing on THAT team?” “A great player that dominates games sort of quietly. He is fast but not blazing, not a dominating shot - but really good, great hands, hockey sense and anticipation (good for one slot pass from the other team per game).”
Game reminds you of: Henrik Zetterberg, C/LW - Detroit. Powerful skater, unbelievable hands, and no push over. Make him mad and he'll drop 4 on ya’.
Best line on the ice: “Hey ref, maybe you oughta try calling this game without your head up your ass.”
You may not have known: growing up in Colorado, he played on an all-star team with goalie John Graham. Played juniors in Montana-ish after High School.
Thanks for: finally coming out and joining the Steam. Always being up for some post-game hockey talk and beers. And lastly, caring so much – you probably take losing way too hard, but a lot of us do not mind that at all.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Goal of NHL 09/10? - # 4
OK, he is a former Nordique and Avalanche player, was born in Ireland, almost always has rugged facial hair (see Fu Manchu below) and he's old. What's not to love?
So yes, cagey veteran Owen Nolan is a candidate after this beauty of a goal.
So yes, cagey veteran Owen Nolan is a candidate after this beauty of a goal.
Rock-N-Rolla
So, at the tournament this Summer we talked about VH1's 100 Greatest Hard Rock Songs of all-time. Chub thought a re-visit would be blog-worthy. So without further adieu…….
Chippendale's - # 92. Night Ranger – Don't Tell Me You Love Me
The Greek - # 91. Smashing Pumpkins – Bullet with Butterfly Wings
Bullitt - # 81. Black Sabbath – Heaven and Hell
Bada Bing - # 71. Jane's Addiction – Mountain Song
Dr. Detroit - # 61. Ratt – Round and Round
Slim Shady - # 51. Megadeth – Peace Sells
Harlan Pepper - # 47. Kid Rock – Bawitdaba
Toe Socks - # 44. Cream – Sunshine of Your Love
Chub - # 30. Even Flow – Pearl Jam
Red Raider - # 26. Free Bird – Lynyrd Skynyrd
Natural Goal Scorer - # 25. Blitzkrieg Bop – The Ramones
The Anomaly - # 23. Crazy Train – Ozzy Osbourne
The Professor - # 19. Tom Sawyer – Rush
Kris Kringle - # 18. Rock You Like a Hurricane – Scorpions
Chowdah - # 16. Rock and Roll All Nite – Kiss
Tripod - # 13. Photograph – Def Leppard
K-Pax - #9. Runnin With the Devil – Van Halen
Shot Pimp - # 7. Smells Like Teen Spirit – Nirvana
The Jedi - # 5. Enter Sandman – Metallica
The Mesmerizer - # 4. Paranoid – Black Sabbath
Thursday, December 10, 2009
NHL Hit of the year?
Phil Kessel missed several weeks at the beginning of the season after having shoulder surgery. His first game back was against the Lightning and Matthias Ohlund gave him this abrupt welcome.
Dates - part 7 - a significant birthday
Yes, as you may know - December 5th was Walt Disney's birthday...
The Top 25 Hockey Movies of All-Time - # 22
# 22 - Bon Cop, Bad Cop 
I can not tell a lie. "Good (French) Cop, Bad Cop" is not the best movie of all-time. It is about as full of cop movie cliches as you already saw in all 14 Lethal Weapon movies. That being said, it does have an interesting plot.
Basically, it is about a killer who is getting back at everyone that has hurt hockey in Canada. Because they did not have the NHL's blessing, they had to change the names to protect the innocent or Canadian. But they do reference the "Fleur De Lys" being sold to Colorado, # 88 not signing, and # 99 being traded.
But the real genius is the pro hockey league's commissioner. They actually use an actor who has to be 4'8" tall (seriously, think Time Bandits) and his name........wait for it.....Buttman! The mocking pushes this movie over the top and onto this awesome list. View at your own peril.
I can not tell a lie. "Good (French) Cop, Bad Cop" is not the best movie of all-time. It is about as full of cop movie cliches as you already saw in all 14 Lethal Weapon movies. That being said, it does have an interesting plot.
Basically, it is about a killer who is getting back at everyone that has hurt hockey in Canada. Because they did not have the NHL's blessing, they had to change the names to protect the innocent or Canadian. But they do reference the "Fleur De Lys" being sold to Colorado, # 88 not signing, and # 99 being traded.
But the real genius is the pro hockey league's commissioner. They actually use an actor who has to be 4'8" tall (seriously, think Time Bandits) and his name........wait for it.....Buttman! The mocking pushes this movie over the top and onto this awesome list. View at your own peril.
Bobby Bowden to retire?
So, Bobby Bowden is hanging it up - coaching his last game very soon. My thoughts: total indifference, I just wanted to post these pictures.
I think Keith Jackson would say "Whoa Nellie!"
Insert your own "Tomahawk Chop" joke as needed.
I think Keith Jackson would say "Whoa Nellie!"Insert your own "Tomahawk Chop" joke as needed.Downholers: Elizabeth...or... how Chub got his fantasy team's name.
Formerly Beer League and now the Downholers.
Ask the STEAMER?
Dearest Steamer -
It is clear from this fine blog that the Steamer roster is loaded with relationship experts. I have been in sort of a dry-spell. Pursuant to guy code, I will not share the length of the dry spell and throw that karma on others.
I kicked around the thought of the Mark Grace calling card - some slump busters. There are a bunch at our post-game bar. But the more I thought about it I was thinking: on-line dating.
How does that idea sound to The Steamer?
Sincerely, Stanley Anhydrous
** We will have our dating expert, Bocephus, answer this one.
Stan - Yes, jump forward my man. It's sort of like a goal drought where you are "gripping the stick" - so to speak. You need to start firing and up your game. Get out there and work it!
One piece of advice - doing your application is important - please see below......
Later - B
Goal of NHL 09/10? - # 3
Last year's # 1 pick, The Lightning's Steven Stamkos, scored this beauty versus the Senators. Not the flashiest ever, but the move is around another # 1 pick, Chris Phillips.
Leafs Update
OK, I have to admit, the Leafs are looking better. But 38% of the way through the season - after 31 games - the Leafs are in 2nd to last place. Let's go Carolina! 
Thursday, November 19, 2009
International goal, and celebration, of the year
If you haven't seen this yet, it is fantastic on so many levels. Out of Tier 2 of the Swedish Elite League - this video will make your day!
Maple Leafs update
Well, Phil Kessel actually has 5 goals and 8 points in 8 games played. Ouch! However, at the quarter-pole of the season - the Leafs are 3-11-6 for 12 points and last place in the NHL!
Fresh blood on the Steamer
Here they are, the fresh faces in the Steamer line-up:.jpg)
Left to Right: # 91 Johnny the Greek, #61 Dr. Detroit Darryl, and # 26 Olli / Chris.
Left to Right: # 91 Johnny the Greek, #61 Dr. Detroit Darryl, and # 26 Olli / Chris.
Dates - part 7 - Thanksgiving
Just a friendly reminder that this is the time of year to give thanks. So take a moment to reflect on what you are thankful for and as the Massachusetts contingent (the original home of the Pilgrims) advocates, smoking the peace pipe! 
Ask the STEAMER?
Dear Steamer,
I have two very serious questions based on the tantric expertise of your team:
A) Why do women fake orgasms?
B) Does size matter?
Thanks in advance!
- Vincent Bing, Balls Taint University - Muncie, Indiana
Well Vincent, we are here to help:
A) Who cares! Hey-oh!
Just kidding, the members of Steamer agree that women fake it because they can not handle any more of the ecstasy and are worried about spontaneous combustion. Since it is lasting too long, they try to have it end sooner - sort of like running time in the 3rd period.
Since we want to help you out to be able to discern, here are the 4 types of female orgasms:
1) The negative orgasm: "Oh no, oh no!"
2) The positive orgasm: "oh yes, oh yes!"
3) The religious orgasm: "Oh god, oh god!"
4) The fake orgasm: "oh Vincent, oh Vincent!" Hey-oh!
B) No.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Ask the STEAMER?
This informative segment is back.........
Michael -
Dear Steamer:
I think I am losing my faith in the NHL. It is fading quicker than Sammy Sosa'a skin. Speaking of that steroid-laden ESL legend, will the NHL continue progressing towards that same crappy level as baseball. Please tell me it isn't so!
- Michael George, Essex UK
Steamer will let two of its most faith-instilling members answer this question - presenting: Pharaoh Pod and Father Bizz.
Michael -Keep the faith, my man. While Major League Baseball does suck, remember MLB is not all of baseball. Similarly, the NHL is not really the essence of hockey.
Last year while watching Hockey Night in Canada After Hours, I watched them interview perennial choker Joe Thornton at the HP Pavilion. There was a beer league game on the ice in the back-ground. Scott Oake referenced the game and asked JT if he was familiar with the beer league. Of course he was going to say no, but he did it so condescendingly I was annoyed. It was clear at that point that he just doesn't get it. He has been a pampered prima donna for so long he has forgotten the roots of the game and how important the fans are to the sport. He is like so many pro athletes of today.
Similarly, last year several of the stick companies stopped making wooden sticks and bemoaned the NHL players not buying and using wood anymore. This was another example of trying to placate the "traditionalists" in hockey, the ones who can't see the forest through the trees (maybe its because of the extra trees?). A couple of points: 1) How many NHL players buy their sticks? I am guessing around 0%. Any chance that they give them to NHL players for that free advertising? 2) Is it hurting their profit margin selling all those $100+ composites to youth players? I think not.
There are turd-burglars running the NHL, and a lot of the players are losing their perspective. I guess the point of this rant is do not let the professionals taint your view of sports. You can love hockey for so many other reasons.
Peace out - PP and FB
The Top 25 Hockey Movies of All-Time - # 23
The Cutting Edge? 
OK, I'll admit that I've never seen it. According to IMDB it is about a hockey player who gets injured and becomes a figure skater. I know, it sounds as preposterous as that Jean Claude Van Damme movie (coming soon), but this list is about showcasing hockey - so play along.
OK, I'll admit that I've never seen it. According to IMDB it is about a hockey player who gets injured and becomes a figure skater. I know, it sounds as preposterous as that Jean Claude Van Damme movie (coming soon), but this list is about showcasing hockey - so play along.
College basketball?
I hear it is underway. I know UCONN is always strong....and I hear great things about their volleyball team!
Kentucky Hockey - who knew? Part 1
Kentucky University, they are usually good at college basketball. Who knew they used to have a hockey program? Not I, but I love their advertising!
Dates - part 6 - Veteran's Day
Kudos to all of our Veterans, thank you for all that you have done for this country!
Top 10 moments in anthem-booer history - # 7(b)
Wow, you thought those jail-break / prison uniforms were bad? Uh-huh, they are. Giving them a run for their money were these recent sphincter-bombs. 
Yes, those are yellow gloves (no offense toe socks) to go with the Christmas tree look. X-mas comes early for the Frenchies!
Goal of NHL 09/10? - # 1
Alexander Semin uses Braydon Coburn like a $2 "self-employed model" on this beauty against the Flyers.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Props and dates (part 1)
A while back we gave props when three members of The Steamer reached the 100 career goal mark . We also meant to also give props when the career leader moved into the 200 goal club.
So - belatedly - lets take a moment to say "nice work on 200 goals", and - in a timely fashion - say Happy B-Day to E5!
So - belatedly - lets take a moment to say "nice work on 200 goals", and - in a timely fashion - say Happy B-Day to E5!
First goal of the season - Fall '09
This guy is on a roll. Gets his name on the Lord Steamer Trophy at the golf tournament for the first time in September, adds to his impressive career-lead for on-ice yakking in October, and then scores the first goal of the Fall season. 
Who else, but The Natural Goal scorer!
Who else, but The Natural Goal scorer!
Dates - part 2 - NHL Anniversary
November 1st is the 50 year Anniversary of Jacque Plante donning the first goalie mask. While we can all agree that keepers are flaky, this seems like a good idea.
While Plante's initial mask was a crude effort, they have become part of hockey folklore. The most famous is probably that of Bruins goalie Gerry Cheevers from the 1970s. He used a marker to indicate where he would have needed stitches had he not been wearing the mask. .jpg)
In the modern NHL, the masks are more like helmets and are decorated with impressive artwork. One of the more amusing is that of AVS keeper Peter Budaj who has a ripped Ned Flanders - from The Simpsons - holding a Slovakian flag. The NHL Network has a show on the development of the mask this weekend.
In the modern NHL, the masks are more like helmets and are decorated with impressive artwork. One of the more amusing is that of AVS keeper Peter Budaj who has a ripped Ned Flanders - from The Simpsons - holding a Slovakian flag. The NHL Network has a show on the development of the mask this weekend.
Dates - part 3 - NHL in October
Reminder that October is "Hockey Fights Cancer" month. So, get on-line and click your mouse to support the cause. 
Rules in life....again, keep your head up...
We've been over this before. As this video shows - Willie Mitchell re-affirms the rule for Jonathan Toews. 
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